What could be next?

There must be more to life than this constant faith vs maximization of profit debate. Sometimes it just depresses me when I have nothing to do or I am exceedingly bored without much interesting happening. This is one of those very moments and whenever they strike, they force me to think about the aforementioned debate.

What is it I want to do now? What’s next? It seems really arbitrary how my future will look like but I have always envisioned life to have some essential meaning to it, some creative channels by which one could potentially change one’s surroundings. Make it happen for someone. Put some real effort in it that gives you satisfaction. Satisfaction that is beyond material satisfaction as it is understood, by me at least, that we can never be satisfied of material satisfaction. We need something beyond than that, perhaps something that we have our faith in.

How can you change the world when your primary concern is maximization of profits? Let’s say I do become one of those ultra-creative people and might do something worthwhile. What’s next? Is that brief moment of glory within and without going to have to be the nourishment for my soul for the rest of my monotonous life, which I would spend, most probably, trying to duplicate the past successes and most likely not being able to? Is that what life is supposed to be about? Flogging yourself to exhaustion to leave your mark and then basking in the brief glow of recognition and appreciation, only to be relegated back to the end of the line so that the next person can have his scheduled 15 minutes of fame? Would that fill in the void in my life? If yes, then I must say that it is a much discounted reward we get for prostituting our own creativity, our own art, and our own life to satisfy that yearn for public recognition. Is that who I want to be? Is that who I already am?

When thinking about this debate, it brings to my mind the image of a long line of treadmills with corporate employees on each one, trying to outrun the others all their lives, not realizing that it’s a fruitless endeavor. In the end, they are so caught up running for their own sakes, to keep their ranks up in the millions that they don’t even accidentally tumble upon something else and eventually, they fall off the treadmill. I don’t want to be on that treadmill. I want much more than that and I think I know what that is. Just maybe.